Pity the child
by BflyW
Summary: The Greg Sander's story. Warning: Violence and slash. My first ever CSI Las Vegas story. Please read and review. COMPLETE!
1. invisible

**DISCLAIMER:**

**Song:** "Pity the child", from Chess. All lyrics are property of Benny Andersson, Tim Rice and Björn Ulvaeus.  
**Greg Sanders** is not mine, never has been and never will be… nor is Nick or any other of the characters. I don't make any money on them…  
The bio of Greg Sanders is only loosely based on what is shown in the series. I haven't paid that much attention to him before to actually know all the details, so I make up a lot of stuff.  
I haven't seen much of season 5, so in my head, Greg is the lab-rat.  
**Warning:** Domestic Violence, language and slash.

_I have no personal experience with abuse, what so ever (Thank God for that). I am writing out of my own imagination, using child abuse resource sites on internet as a source. I don't claim to understand. I don't mean to give any solutions. If you are a victim or close to a victim; I do not mean to offend you with any details that I might interpret wrong. As I said, I have no experience, so how someone will act and react in these situations are only assumptions from my side._

**SONG FIC: Pity the child**  
The story of Greg Sanders.

**CHAPTER 1: invisible**

_When I was 9 I learned survival  
__Thought myself not to care  
__I was my single good companion  
__Taking my comfort there  
__Up in my room I planned my conquest  
__On my own  
__Never asked for a helping hand  
__No one would understand  
__I never asked the pair who fought below  
__Just in case they said no_

_

* * *

__Greg's lab, Mother's day 2005  
_  
Greg Sanders is working on a tough case. He let his music blast through the speakers wrapping him into his own little world. He knows his co-workers wonder about the level and choice of music. The only thing louder than the music is his t-shirts. They tease him about that. Maybe they are right. He has never figured out for himself whether this is childish or not. Nevertheless, he feels comfortable being surrounded by the colors and the beat. 

A hallmark is neatly tucked in a small paper bag in Greg's left lab coat pocket. He bought it today before work. He had spent nearly 30 minutes reading the cards, deciding which one to pick. He needs it to be just perfect.

He works DNA.  
Small chains of genes; born with them, impossible to escape.

_The Sanders home 1982  
__  
The room is lit up by only a dim light from a night lamp. The light doesn't reach the corners of his room and he can pretend there is an escape door in the far end. He doesn't want to look too close though; better pretend._

_Maybe if he is totally quiet, they will forget about him.  
Maybe if he doesn't move at all….He tries not to breath, but his body deceives him. He has to grasp for air now and then. Soon he learns how to breathe though his mouth, careful to not make a sound. He is careful not to sniff when the tears stream down his cheek. He doesn't try to dry them, it is better to be quiet than dry._

_  
He doesn't dare turning off the last light, he is afraid of the dark. He needs to see if there is someone in here with him. _

_He can hear them yell. He can't always distinguish the words though, and it is mostly his father that yells. His mother screams and cries. His body trembles and jumps when he hears a loud pound followed by silence. For a long time it is quiet, too quiet. Then he hears his father roam around downstairs knocking over a stool and reaching the door. He sits still long after the front door is closed. Still no sound…five minutes, ten... He carefully crawls out from under his bed, walks towards his bedroom door and opens it. The hallway is fully lit. Everything is in order, like nothing has happened. He walks down the stairs, and into the kitchen. On the floor in front of the counter he sees his mom. She is bleeding, crying and raising to her feet when she sees her 9 year old son walking in. _

"It's OK," she says wiping her face with the palm of her hand, only to smudge blood out on her cheek. "It's OK. I am fine; just fine. Come here; let me give you a hug."

_Greg's lab, Mother's day 2005  
_  
He watches while the team head out to a crime scene. Domestic violence, as far as he understands. What looks like a wife slaughtering the husband. Ugly as hell; not unexpected though according to the neighbours. "There has always been trouble in that house."

_The Sanders home 1982  
_

_His father will be out all night. They will go free the rest of the evening. He won't come back until late and then only to crawl into bed. _

He sits down at the kitchen table with mom. She hands him a bowl of his favourite sugared cereal. He is not supposed to have this on a school day, but she lets him anyway.  
"He doesn't mean anything by it," she tells him. "He is just tired. There is so much responsibility, you know?"  
He looks at her, nodding.  
"You, me…. we should be a little bit nicer to him; not aggravate him so much. When he comes home from work, he doesn't deserve having more stress."

_He nods again. The cereal tastes good.  
"Maybe you can make less noise, you know? Be quiet when your father tells you to. And I just need to have food ready when he comes home. And I should make it better. He works all day you know? He deserves good food."_

_Greg's lab, Mother's day 2005_

"Run this for me, will you?" Nick hands him two bags of evidence from the scene.  
"Sure thing; my magical fingers will work for you!" Greg throws him a big grin while practically jumping out of his chair.  
"I need this ASAP," Sara enters the room. He looks at her, giving her a wink and relieves her of her bags. "Even faster than that…"  
"But after mine, right?" Nick shoots in, slightly leaning over the table separating them.  
"First come, first served, Nicky. I will not let you down. Now you two, get out of here, let this genius get to work!"


	2. stranger

**Chapter 2: stranger**

_Pity the child who has ambition  
Knows what he wants to do  
Knows that he'll never fit the system  
Others expect him to  
Pity the child who knew his parents  
Saw their faults  
Saw their love die before his eyes  
Pity the child that wise  
He never asked did I cause your distress?  
Just in case they said yes_

_

* * *

_  
_The Sanders home 1983_

_It is safe in here. Music is his escape. Music is his walls of protection. No evil thoughts can penetrate the sound and make him feel vulnerable again. Music is his shelter._

_Greg's lab, Mother's day 2005  
_

He turns down the music when Grissom comes in, Grissom is no threat. He doesn't necessarily turn it down for Nick though. He knows Nick doesn't agree on the choice of music, but he never argues about it. This is Greg's lab, and Greg gets to decide. Warrick doesn't understand, but Warrick is OK. If he comes along with Nick, Greg usually lets the music blast, if he comes alone, he turns it down. With Sara it depends. It depends on her mood. If she is crabby, he leaves it on high just to piss her off a little bit more, if she is in a good mood, he turns it down so he can flirt. With Catherine it doesn't matter what he does, she turns it down herself.

Right now he is alone in the lab. He is nearly finished his workload for today and will probably wrap up within the hour, which by the way is two hours overtime, unless someone dumps a lot of evidence on him. He hates leaving things for the dayshift, because they usually end up dumping even more onto him.

_The Sanders home 1983_

_"Get down here, now!"_

_His father's voice was harsh. He had been drinking since before noon and was probably going to hit someone. Judging by the tone, Greg guessed he would hit hard. He found it better to be hit than watch his mother taking the beating. He walked down the stairs sick to his stomach. His legs felt weak, and he clung to the rail while moving down one step at the time. _

_"Hurry!"_

_He had long time ago learned never to eat too much on a Friday. Fridays were when his father was most likely to be drunk. With less food inside, there was less to throw up. He preferred it when his father used his bare hands, they didn't leave scares. The belt however did make visible wounds that made marks he would live with forever. He didn't want the reminders, besides, they were harder to hide. _

_Hiding them was hard. It was getting hard finding excuses for wearing long sleeves in the middle of the summer to cover up those bruises on his arms. He couldn't let it show though. He couldn't let anyone know. Not ever._

_"Are you deaf?"_

_Maybe he would pass out before it was over. Maybe he didn't have to feel today. _

_Greg's lab, Mother's day 2005  
_

"Have anything for me?"  
He swirls in the chair facing the friendly face appearing in the door.  
"Hi Nicky. Other than a pretty face to look at you mean? Yes, I have the answer to your dream; a match on the DNA"  
He hands over the paper to Nick, who looks at it and gives him a winning smile in return.  
"Thank you"  
"And to you," he shifts his attention to Sara who walks in the door. He never touches the volume on the music while he hands her a paper, "No match". He doesn't even catch what she is mumbling walking out of the lab.

_The Sanders home 1985  
_

_"You had this coming," he is telling himself, "you should have worn that button down shirt. You know he doesn't want you to wear the t-shirts. You are stronger than that. Never mind the heat. A man doesn't dress like a homeless. Never mind you can't play ball in those cloths. You don't have to anyway. You can't let the kids see the marks anyway, better stay inside" _

_Greg holds his breath each time he take the beating. It doesn't hurt so much anymore, the back has gone numb and he knows how to shut down now. Further in, don't come out until it is over. Mom's screaming are fading out as well. Just glide away._

_"Yes, sir", he manages to say at the right time. "Yes, sir, I will straighten up. No, sir, I don't deserve being your son."_

_Greg's lab, Mother's day 2005_

"Something wrong?"  
He didn't notice that Nick didn't follow Sara out the door, and now the observant Texan looks at him with a penetrating look.  
"No, all is fine in 'Greggo land'."  
"Are you sure?"  
"I am fine Nicky. Just need some coffee. I haven't had coffee in 2 hours. That can't be good for my system. I am starting to feel almost normal, that can't be right."  
"Can I join you?"  
"Can you afford it?"  
"Your treat?"  
"In that case, do you have the time?"  
"Yeah. 5 minutes. I need that."


	3. unattached

**Chapter 3: unattached  
**

_When I was 12 my father moved out  
__Left with a whimper not with a shout  
__I didn't miss him – he made it perfectly clear  
__I was a fool and probably queer  
__Fool that I was I thought this would bring  
__Those he has left closer together  
__She made her move the moment he crawled away  
__I was the last the woman told  
__She never let her bed get cold  
__Someone moved in – I shut my door  
__Someone to treat her just the same way as before_

* * *

_The Sanders home 1987  
_  
"_He's gone!" His mom sits by the kitchen table weeping.  
What?  
_"_Gone?"  
_"_Yeah, gone. He took his stuff and ran off. Left us like garbage. What are we going to do?"  
Live  
"We'll be OK mom! We'll be OK."  
"We can't be without him. He supports us. Who's going to pay for your food now? You do eat, don't you?"  
"I will mom. I find a job"_

_Greg's lab, Mother's day 2005  
_  
"What's going on here? Someone has time for coffee I see!"  
Catherine is in a bad mood and Greg takes the blame.  
"Just a few minutes..."  
"Could I suggest you to use those few minutes on the work you are paid to do"  
"Yes…" He puts down his cup and goes back to his work bench. "I don't have the result for you just yet, I page you, OK?"  
She turned her back on him even before he had finished his sentence, and Nick looked at him with questions in his eyes.  
"What was that all about?"  
"Nothing, she is just stressed today."  
"We all are."  
"Yeah, but you handle it better," Greg shrugs and brushes it off, "not a big deal."

_Greg's birthday 1992  
_

_Greg locks the front door. It is nearly morning and he has stayed out all night. He left his friends a long time ago though, wandering the streets on his own. He usually does that. He starts at the top, by the bridge. Then he walks by the river all the way down to the clubs. He sits down in the end of the park where he has full view of the clubs and he people watches. All night he does that. He never gets any closer. He stays invisible. He was tempted to go in today though. Celebrate his birthday. He is 17; seventeen and still too young to get in anywhere. _

_He supports the gap between the door and the frame as he closes it so there will be no sound. It falls into place with only a gentle thud. He didn't have to bother though, because a tall man already stands in the hallway gazing at him. Greg gazes back at him before he run up the stairs. He is totally unattached. He doesn't even know this man's name. _

As he lays down in his bed he hears the front door open and close. He never sees the man again.

_Greg's lab, Mother's day 2005_

"What do you mean, leave it? Why won't you tell me what bothers you today?" Nick stare at him.**  
**"Not now, Nicky, please."  
He can see Nick gets hurt by him pushing him away. He won't deal with it right now.

_Greg's favourite diner. 2 years ago._

_"Do you trust me?" Nick asks softly.  
"Of course I trust you. Why wouldn't I?" Greg looks at him, trying to figure out what Nick is up to.  
"Then tell me."  
"Nothing!"  
_"_Don't say nothing!"  
"I got scared that's all. But I am not the one injured here."  
"I'm fine."  
"Fine? You fell through a 2 story window? I thought you were gone man."  
"I am fine. Please, trust me on that Greg. I am fine. I am not leaving you."  
"No, I…"  
"You heard me right? I am not. I won't leave you Greg. Ever."_

_Greg's lab, Mother's day 2005_

"Later, OK Nick?"  
"Later."


	4. starvation

**Chapter 4: Starvation**

_I took the road of least resistance  
I had my game to play  
I had the skill, and more – the hunger  
Easy to get away  
Pity the child with no such weapons  
No defence  
No escape from the ties that bind  
Always a step behind  
I never called to tell her all I'd done  
I was only her son!_

* * *

_In the men's room at a campus bar. 1993_

"_I wanna fuck you! You wanna fuck? You wanna fuck hard? Let me feel you. Feel my cock. Touch it! Let me fuck your virgin ass!"_

_Greg touches him. Wraps his hand around his hard cock. Stroking it. Trembling . Kissing. Being taken. Up against the wall. Not much preparation. Perspiration. Hot flesh pounding against each other. Hard, fast, hurt, it fucking hurts. _

_The faceless man finishes and walks out and Greg put on his pants again and wipes his face clean. He didn't get quite drunk enough.  
_

_An alley, 1994_

_"You have to stop this Greg."  
"Stop what?"  
"Stop paying me for a fuck"  
"What, don't you want your salary?"  
"Hell, yeah. It's just not you."  
"What isn't? "  
"You don't have to pay for it. Get your self a nice boy who gives it to you for free"  
"You don't want to fuck me anymore, that's it?"  
"Your good, I can keep you forever. You can't keep me, that's the problem. You are getting less… you deserve more. Now go. I don't want to see you here again!"_

_  
Adam's apartment 1995_

**  
**_"Are you staying tonight?"  
_"_Um…. No."  
"You never are"  
"No.."  
"What are we? Am I just causal sex for you Greg?"  
_"_No."  
"Then what?"  
"I don't know, okay? Don't freak out about it!"  
"Then get out"  
_

_Greg's apartment 1997_

**  
**_"A diploma for the wall" He told himself, watching the papers that proofs his education. "And now, no one shall step on me again."_


	5. moving on

**Chapter 5: Moving on**

_Pity the child but not forever  
Not if he stays that way  
He can get all he wanted  
If he's prepared to pay  
Pity instead the careless mother  
What she missed  
What she lost when she let me go  
And I wonder does she know  
I wouldn't call – a crazy thing to do  
Just in case she said who?_

* * *

_Locker room, Mother's day 2005_

"Hi, you heading home?"  
"Hi Nick" Greg smiles at him. "Yes, in a minute."  
"Are we alone?"  
"I think so."  
Nick wraps his arms around him.  
"So, I figured out what's been going in with you today?"  
"You know…"  
"Yeah, I know; Mother's day. You need some time alone tonight?"  
"No, I think I'll stay with you this year, if that's okay."  
"Sure baby, always."  
"Just give me a minute, will you? I'll meet you at the car."  
"Sure." Nick gives him a light kiss and leaves him alone.

Slowly he reaches for the card he had carried with him all day. He looks at the cover and read the words printed on the card:

"**A sunbeam through your window, a thought that makes you smile, and reminders all day long of how special you are." **

**"**Hope you are OK mom", he thinks before pulling out his blue ink pen.  
He sits down on the bench and writes the same words as every year before. "I Hope you have found peace somewhere. You gave me sunshine in the past. You made me strong enough to carry on. I hope you too will learn some day, that what is inside you is beauty, untouched by his destroying acts.

Printed inside the card: **"Have a beautiful Mother's Day "**

Without further hesitation, he closes the card and opens the wooden box he has stored at the back in his locker. He opens the lid and lay the card down and places it on top of the other cards he'll never send.

- THE END -


End file.
